Sharks
by MentalParrot
Summary: Crack-ish! Sometimes Naruto thinks he needs to be a shark to get Sakura, so he settles with eating goldfish crackers. The snack that smiles back!


**Disclaimer:** I don't own Naruto, nor goldfish crackers. Hey, no wonder I'm still not a millonaire!

**Author's Note:** If you can't take a joke, and are deathly, completely hell-bent on your pairing. Leave now. I warned you.

**Sharks**

"You know Sakura-chan.." Naruto grinned, as they were strolling along the market, "I think you should make a move on someone already. You know..'unleash the kunai'."

"Ah?.." Sakura feigned as if she didn't hear what he just said, since she had a very lovely tomato in her hands, and it'd just be a shame to squish the bloody pulp out of it, because of her companion's stupidity.

"Come onnn! It's going to be months and months before Sasuke's out of probation." The blonde flailed his arms around to make his point. "He even gets watched while he goes to shi-"

He stops himself when the fruit vendor shoots him a glare so deep, the words "I'm going to stick THIS FORK, in your ASS, if you finish that sentence." don't even need to be said.

Of course, it helps that the vendor's holding up a fork, and his lip's so curled up that his canines are showing.

"Ara? Sorry, Naruto. I didn't catch that." Sakura says as she inspects the cucumbers. "I've heard you have a great 2 for 1 deal on these this week right Takamoto-san?"

The vendor, so called "Takamoto-san" snapped back to attention, and placed an oscar-winning smile for the pinkette.

"Why of course! Anything for you Sakura-san." he cooed. _Anythin__g to stop you from making me, my__ wife__ and children__ survive on pickles for a month again. STALE pickles. _

"Eheh..Nothing Sakura-chan!" Naruto sweatdrops. He's already had spoons up there, but forks? That's a bit too much.

"Well! I think that's it. Sorry, Takamoto-san. I don't think I'll need cucumbers."

"But _I _like cucumbers!" The Hokage to-be whines and pouts a bit. It would've been a strange sight for the passersby to see, but it was Konoha. No one was surprised to see him do that anymore.

"I wasn't aware that I was making food for you." She quips back at him.

"But whoever's going to eat that are going to have their cucumbers become pickles anyways.."

"_What_..was that?"

"UH..UHH..Pickles?..."

"YOU'RE THE PICKLE. DUMBASS."

Takamoto winces for him, and silently hopes she makes him fly somewhere far from his little business. Blood was awfully hard to clean from the ceiling.

Naruto eats the ground for about 30 ft and finds out that they had used a different kind of gravel for the road this time.

"Ah..I almost forgot to pay! I'm so sorry!" the kunoichi apologizes, "Oh..and here. For the last time I broke your stand..I still feel really guilty for that." Sakura smiles sheepishly, as she hands him some extra wads of cash.

* * *

><p>"Ah..Really. Now I'm all off schedule.. Thanks to you, Naruto." Sakura clucks, as she finishes up bandaging the blonde.<p>

"I'm the one with the concussion because of your monstrous fists." He flops back on his hospital bed. "But, I'm already better! Kyuubi, advanced healing, won't let me die? I'd thought you'd remember this."

You reap what your mouth sows."

Naruto doesn't hear, since he was busy playing with his goldfish crackers.

"I'M GONNA EAT YOOUU! Fish are friends not food~!" He says as he voices the two goldfish in his fingers.

Sakura snorts inwardly at him as she takes off her doctor's coat. "I'm going to go now. Don't play with food, or food'll play with you!" She chides him playfully.

"Wait wait! Here, take it." He tosses her his bag of goldfish crackers.

"Eh? What for?"

"Some 'sharks' to give to the people who're going to be eating your cooking, a little courage. I've already had enough to last me through tomorrow."

"Ugh, you!.." He grins a fox-like smile at her, and she decides she'll let him off this time. "Yeah, alright then.." _It's not like they need any more shark-like tendencies.._

She smiles fondly at him. "Stay and rest already knuckle-head. You're meeting with the elders tomorrow, and just _looking_ at their prune faces makes me have a headache, AND, you just got back from a mission. So rest."

"YOU DO CARE." Naruto cries tears of happiness and reaches out to hug her, but she's already out the door.

"Rest!" He hears her call off in the hallway. He smiles to himself, and snuggles under the covers.

He spots something red and round rolling around the floor. A tomato?

He realizes that all she bought that day were tomatoes. Who liked tomatoes again? Oh right. It was this brooding, emo avenger bastard, that was currently on probation, named-

* * *

><p>"SAKURAA-CHAAAANNN..."<p>

"Did you hear that? I think I just heard Naruto.." Sakura muses, as she munches on a rice ball.

"Hn."

* * *

><p><strong>Authors Note<strong>: Keke. You thought it was going to be a NaruSaku weren't you? Well, you just got punk'd. Fanfiction style. Whaaat! Sorry. Reviews are nice. I won't be surprised to see flames, but then I still have hope for mankind. This was purely a humor thing because my friend gave me the prompt "sharks", don't take it personally.


End file.
